Woohoo!!!
I'm tired. More later.
On one hand, you can't experience lie if you don't try everything. On the other, you can't have a flippin' life if you are always trying to do EVERYTHING!
I am *a little* Type A so the mere suggestion that there is something I can not handle is enough to have me winning a trophy in whatever it is by this summer. Maybe two.
<swallow pride> I am overloaded. </swallowing pride> *gasp!*
This describes how I feel:
"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."
I want my cake, and hell yes I want to eat it too! And I want to train. And learn. Lots. And I would also like to learn a new hobby, say, knitting. It's not engineering so it should be easy. I also feel very strongly about McCain and would like to help there, too. I should write more and spend more time relaxing. Knitting is relaxing, so that is okay. I want to work more on a few new projects. I would like to write some papers for IEEE or possibly WEF. (list goes on... and on....and on...) .
I am not crying Uncle at this moment. I am merely acknowledging that the frist step to solving a problem is being aware (and admitting) you actually might have one. I either need to grow a pair or prioritize better.
I have a genuine love/hate thing going on with all electronics. I blame this on being a EEE; my education brainwashed me into <looks at self> *this* </looking>. I have this new fancy phone that does all kinds of neat things (most of which I am figuring out through trial and error because who reads the manuals they put with these things?! They are (1) in 5 languages (2) a few hundred pages and (3) annoying in how they all begin with the stupid "Press this button for ON" diagrams.) So, yes - my new phone is lovely and her name is Gigi. Say hello to Gigi, everyone. Play nice.
Yay for moblogging!
Every GOP nominee since 1980 has won the South Carolina Primary. John McCain won in SC today so I am, to say the least, completely thrilled!
He has dedicated his ENTIRE adult life to serving America with honesty, integrity, courage and complete loyalty. There are a million reasons why I am excited about the possibility of Senator/Captain McCain becoming our next President and I am sure in the upcoming months I will blog to death in support of John McCain 2008.
- Register to Vote!!!
- Get Involved! Volunteer! Support McCain!!!
Question
You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You...
- Straighten it.
- Ignore it.
- Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron.
The correct answer is "3" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing."
Social Skills
Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction.
"Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction:
- Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation
- Important social contacts
- A feeling of connectedness with other humans
In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions:
- Get it over with as soon as possible.
- Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.
- Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.
Fascination with Gadgets
To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1)things that need to be fixed, and (2)things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.
Fashion and Appearance
Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no genitalia or mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.
Love of "Star Trek"
Engineers love all of the "Star Trek" television shows and movies. It's a small wonder, since the engineers on the starship Enterprise are portrayed as heroes, occasionally even having sex with aliens. This is much more glamorous than the real life of an engineer, which consists of hiding from the universe and having sex without the participation of other life forms.
Dating and Social Life
Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.
Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like children who will have high-paying jobs long before losing their virginity.
Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible men in technical professions:
- Bill Gates.
- MacGyver.
- Etcetera.
Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain that way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Longer if it's a warm day.
Honesty
Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth.
Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.
- "I won't change anything without asking you first."
- "I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."
- "I have to have new equipment to do my job."
- "I'm not jealous of your new computer."
Powers of Concentration
If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she snaps out of it.
Risk
Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake, the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something.
Examples of Bad Press for Engineers
- Hindenberg.
- Space Shuttle Challenger.
- SPANet(tm)
- Hubble space telescope.
- Apollo 13.
- Titanic.
- Ford Pinto.
- Corvair.
The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:
RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.
REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.
Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for reasons that are far too complicated to explain. If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project, then the engineer will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's technically possible but it will cost too much."
Ego
Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:
- How smart they are.
- How many cool devices they own.
The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare that the problem is unsolvable. No engineer can walk away from an unsolvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges quickly become personal -- a battle between the engineer and the laws of nature.
Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem. (Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex--and I'm including the kind of sex where other people are involved.
Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase that means it's not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve difficult technical problems." At that point it is a good idea for the normal person to not stand between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.
I know she is my dog and that makes any opinion I state *slightly* biased.
Who cares?!
Is she not the most frickin' cute/tough dog ever? Yah, yah - she's a sexy bitch.
I am by no stretch of the imagination a germaphobe ; I own Purell and use it so rarely it has probably expired by now (if it expires...).
But you see - there was this nasty evil flu-ish thing going around my office last week. I assumed that since I had something like this a bit ago that me and my super tough and immune self would meet this Sickness and strike it down with a force. I was so foolishly certain.
First, my head was achy. Then my throat became a bit scratchy. Then my neck felt a tad sore ... and my shoulders...and I felt tired. And warm... no wait, chilly. I feel chilly.
Dammit! I came down with The Sickness!
*cough* Grr... *sniffle*
Sickness: I am so angry at you. Unfortunately you have sucked all energy from my body and left my head with a water logged floaty type feeling. You suck.
Yes: my wedding was 5 months ago...
Yes: I just rec'd these photos... a week ago.
Yes: I like them =)
